hmmm

Well, I guess my idea of a budget is completely blown… Might explain a few things though.  I still don’t think that we typically spend that much money on groceries, though it is possible with the way the prices have been going up.

J decided that he was going to start paying attention to the bank account and where all our money is going.  Well its not going where I thought it was.

Why does everything have to cost so much money… everything costs.  Hes asked why I haven’t done any of the things that I want to do though at the same time.. gaah… you can see why I haven’t I done any of it….

some of it is time, I very rarely have uninterrupted time, because if one of the 5 children don’t want my attention then my husband does.  So where does that put me?  It puts me spending too much money on things that I never manage to get done, that’s where it puts me.

And he wonders why I am convinced that I am pretty much incompetent at life……..

Writers block

Never really suffered this before at least not for something that I wanted to write.

The last couple of days I have been just staring at my story and I am feeling terribly uninspired… what do I do?

perhaps I should work on writing something else until I feel a little more inspired.

Homeless

We have been homeless….  it is an interesting experience.  We have been trying to buy a house and it is a much slower process than I expected it to be.  It has been a very educational journey, as has buying a house.  We started off with one that we thought we would pay off and move on from as soon as possible and have ended up with a home that we are going to be in for the foreseeable future, which is really probably better for us in the long run.

In the meantime we have been staying with friends and family.  That alone has been a really enlightening experience, both for us and them.  We stayed with some friends first and over all it was good, we learned things, like just how much work our kids are capable of.  It was amazing!  Now we are at my sisters, which is also interesting, though it is in a different way.  It has really made me realize how little I socialize normally and that I need to do it more.

Prayer

Please God, give me strength.

Strength to remain steadfast in my faith.

Strength to pass that faith on to my children,

and strength to continue to pray for a revival of faith in my husband, that he may be saved from this dark pit he has found himself in.

Back to school

I am once again thinking about going back to school.  Is this something I should do?  I am teetering on the edge of decision.  In one way I would really like to, but i am kind of afraid to at the same time.  If my goal is to get educated so I can get a good job, its going to mean sending the kids to school.  On the other hand if I did it, we could actually send them to the private school.

Do I want to be independent?  It would mean I would be an equal or close to it anyway wage earner, with a retirement and everything.  It would certainly make a huge difference in our finances in the long run, make them tighter in the short run though.

Decisions decisions…. 

Life as a Mom

I threw out my back last week, spent most of the weekend on the couch pretty much immobile.   Might as well hold the baby right?

Now he is quite assured that that is the way life should be… well I suppose it should, he is only 4 months after all… but gosh, not only do I have the weekend to catch up on, I am still much slower than I usually am at the whole thing.

I am still waiting to hear if DH is going out of town on business, he said probably, but I haven’t heard back… from what he said he would be leaving tonight….

3 year olds are funny, sent I. to bed because she was just being a monster… she didn’t fuss about it, figured maybe she would actually take a nap and that would be a good thing…  she pops out about 15 minutes later.  “I’m happy now!  Can I go down stairs?!?”  Well I guess as long as she’s happy.

Sorrow

I think my sister put it best.

 

For children without their father, for a wife without her husband, for people without their friend, all due to a tragic accident.

Prayers Please.